A time to cry June 22, 2010

Firstly sorry that it has been so long between posts, I will try to make this more regular again. Tonight I feel compelled to get my thoughts out of my head and out some where else………..

I watched the season final of “Grey’s Anatomy” a show I enjoy and towards the end as I knew that mt favourite characters would be ok, one of them began to miscarry her baby. She would have been only  8 weeks or so pregnant. The same as me when I have miscarried……… 3 times.

Then I just cried.

Cried for the babies I lost.

Cried for the pain I know that she will feel, even  if she doesn’t yet.

Cried for the unfairness of a world that allows such pain.

I cried the unwept tears that I have kept hidden so that I can keep on living.

If………

I loved them though they never were.

100 words – Comics April 21, 2010

Comics are not just for children and wierd sci-fi nerds and not all animation is for children. No one would dispute that “South Park” or the “Simpsons” has some decidedly adult content.

Some of my favourite reads of ‘adult’ comics have been of Frank Millers work , also the japanese manga artist Rumiko Takahashi. They both have dealt with dark stories in an entertaining way and left me thinking…..

What does bother me is the lack of graphic novels (the grown up versions of comics) in schools and public libraries. Surely this would encourage the reluctant readers to read?

Or not………………..

Crocheting lessons April 18, 2010

I went to the library yesterday with all the kids , plus Gav. Once we got past the ladies at the front counter gooing over Alan (He is walking now and we hadn’t been since he started) we toddled down to the back corner were thee kids books are. It’s the place where you can always find us when we go. Alan choose 8 books then decided that eating some young adult fiction would be a good idea…

Anyway once we had the kids sorted I toodled off to look at the craft books. Reason being that this week is out 2nd “Stitch and Dish” and I have said I will show some of the girls how to crochet. Also encourage another in her efforts to teach herself. So I was looking for a book or two with good pictures I could photocopy for them to have as reference when they went home. Found 3 good ones, but now am inspired with new projects to keep me going for the next year! lol

I must get some photos of our next night up to share with you all…….

100 words (I like this style of post!) – Waking April 16, 2010

I woke, I cuddled Gavin. Loo, clothes for Alan. Got him dressed. Get Katherine dressed…… Patience now she wants to do the bow on her pants “By my SELF, Mummy”

“Gav can you get breakfast , while I get dressed please?”

Get dressed, brush hair. It’s soft and silky, I like my hair.

To the kitchen. Make tea and a Paddington sandwich. Read the paper. Get Alan out of highchair. Nag Jonathan about eating up. Do Katherine’s hair, tears ensue. Cuddles given, tickling fun. Alan joins in.

I smile this is the best part of my job, the cuddles and giggles.

Nefarious April 13, 2010

I did an evil thing , you might say nefarious. I took a friends idea and ,without asking, ran with it . 100 words to write and  will not  spell check it, because if there is one thing that is my enemy in this like then it is the nefarious Dr Spelling. My mother even made me take extra lessons with my grandmother to try and improve it when I was younger. My mum is a primary school teacher who specialises in learning difficulties now. She seems  to think that these days I might have been diagnosed with dyslexia, which would explain alot.

Stitchin’ April 6, 2010

It is no secret that I love all sorts of crafts.

So I pull my finger out and finally organised a craft night.

For the longest time my girlfriends and I have talked about having a “Stitch and Bitch” night , but no one has quite gotten round to organising it. So I took it upon myself to do so. How ever I have called it “Stitch and Dish” mainly ‘cos sI don’t usually use that sort of language in ordinary day talking so it felt kinda a false to be calling a craft night that.

So thanks to the wonders of Facebook I will be hosting one this Thursday. hopefully it will all turn out ok and Gav won’t be put out by a gaggle of girls in the house!

In other news……… I have decided to start using first names only when I talk about family. I will continue to use pseudonyms for friends but I find it much easier to talk about my immediate family by their first names.

Anyhoo till next time.

Random April 5, 2010

What is even smarter than a talking bird?
A Spelling Bee!

hmm find a better one next time

Drugs and Therapy March 30, 2010

I’m sitting here trying to think of what I want to share with the big wide world about my mental health ….. and I’m a little nervous about over sharing to be honest.

Not that I am a stranger to over sharing, I have friends who are excellent at it and have often stopped a dinner mid chew with discriptions of what it feels like having a caesarean section (kinda like a big pimple popping). But for some reason tonight words are escaping me…….

Let me try to put into words what goes through my head as I try to go to sleep.

Most people when they go to sleep just shut thier eyes and then miraculously go to sleep – well that’s according to my mother any way.

For me it goes something like this

‘my foot hurts’

‘did I remember  to do everything today?’

‘damn I forgot to pay that bill’

‘ now I have to remember that tomorrow’

‘what if I forget it again’

“Husband will be pissed’

‘no he won’t don’t be silly’

‘yes he will, I’m such a useless wife’

‘now you a re being silly’

‘no I’m not I really am I didn’t do the physio with A either and J is doing badly at school and K wouldn’t eat her tea’

‘ GO TO SLEEP – don’t be so silly’

‘ Ok ok ok sigh ….. counting  that always helps’

‘ 1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4….’

And slowly off to sleep.

Funnily enough that is how I’ve always been but now as an adult it can really screw with my mind some times and I need to learn to control it. In part that means new drugs and more therapy.

So til next time.

Thanks! March 30, 2010

Thanks to all that have noticed my new layout! I thought it was time for a play around with things I like these colours better.
In other news my old nemesis has raised its ugly head again and I am going to the Dr today. I have not been sleeping well and having disturbing thoughts over the weekend.
Will type again later!

What a week! March 27, 2010

It’s been more than a week since I last posted soooo

My mobile phone hmm, well A has been fascinated by the kitchen of late and had been told repeatedly not to touch the stove.He had been opening it when it was off and generally not doing as I told him. The other week the inevitable happened and he opened the stove up while it was on! He burnt his hand and leg , beloved and I immediately douse him with water in the bath because the shower was freaking him out. So fully clothed I jump in the bath with him  but I forgot that my phone was in my pocket ! Needless to say my mobile doesn’t work now! Btw A is fine by the next morning you could hardly tell that it had happened……

Anyway about a week after that happened we had a terrible storm in Perth and since then (6 days now) our landline phone has not worked. Apparently something went wrong at the exchange and most of our suburb has had no working phone and very slow net access. Need less to say it has been a busy and exhausting week!